Read this if you find people fascinating and you want to understand your partners better.
I am student of human behavior. I find people fascinating. Fascinating—but equally perplexing!
(For example: I don’t understand men’s obsession with cars and women’s obsession with shoes.)
I’d like to be able to predict the general behavior of someone.
So over the years I have studied the Myers-Briggs and other personality typing methodologies, body language analysis, and, even more recently, dabbled in the art of handwriting analysis. I learned that there aren’t any silver bullets that can determine someone’s behavior with absolute certainty. Human beings are complex human beings after all. Like Sigmund Freud said: “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”
This morning I came across a Chinese passage that condenses in a just few sentences what I have learned from all my years of watching people:
to evaluate a man’s character, watch his eyes
to evaluate the worth of a man, watch who he picks as his opponent
to evaluate someone’s potential, watch how he spends time alone
to evaluate someone’s true self, watch the people surrounding him
to evaluate someone’s personality, watch how he writes
to evaluate if someone is happy, don’t watch how he smiles, watch his first facial expression when he wakes up in the morning
to evaluate the size of someone’s tolerance, evaluate his reaction during failure and betrayal
to evaluate someone’s courage, watch how he faces death
to evaluate the true relationship between two people, watch how anxious one gets when the other is in danger
As well as I know myself, I tested these statements against myself. Thinking back the moments when I have faced death a few times, the test is accurate. It also gave me an opportunity to evaluate how I have grown over the years. How I acted when I was 5 versus 15 versus 20 and so on.
Take a moment to reflect back how you acted and reacted when you faced the circumstances stated in the quote. Are they accurate?
I hope this helps you gain more clarity about who you are and what you stand for.